


Opened

by Yoyoyoyo



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Feelings, Fluff, Getting Together, Holidays, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:54:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22312087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yoyoyoyo/pseuds/Yoyoyoyo
Summary: In which Seungcheol knocks and Jeonghan opens, but with his heart initially closed.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 2
Kudos: 54





	Opened

**Author's Note:**

> Have fun reading! If you listened to Alec Benjamin's Must Have Been the Wind, you might see the connection! (and while im at it i also listen to alec's "last of her kind" while making this for no apparent reason lmao)

It makes him wonder sometimes; how sunlight gives a perfect shade on his eyes, how a messy mop of black hair fixes all of what is wrong, how gummy smiles knock out any thousand kilowatt bulb, how lashes kiss his cheekbones delicately, how smiling eyes seem brighter than crescent moons…

Jeonghan wonders.

He smiles.

“You seem to enjoy it, though,” he sipped on his drink, eyes watching in amusement as Seungcheol tries to deny his accusation, which really does not work; at least not with his laugh bubbling from his chest. The older male spent his whole thirty minutes laughing about their friend’s drunken deed, and he’s just so unlucky that his lover is bestfriends with that drunken youth. Jeonghan smiled when he felt a hand reaching out for his own and he hates himself for feeling so mushy at the tangled fingers on the table. Oh, how they look perfect.

And perfection it is because Seungcheol’s voice is pacifying as it is bright. How he laughs before finishing his stories, how his mirth sounds so significant in the ears, how his hands slowly cradles Jeonghan’s to get his way out of telling an embarrassing story of one of their closest friends. Jeonghan looks down on their hands.

He grips them tighter.

“It’s not that I’m enjoying it!” Seungcheol whines, shaking the palm he’s holding to add some sort of convincing power to his partner. He chuckles when he saw Jeonghan rolling his eyes at him. “Hey! I swear, I’m not enjoying it, but it’s rare to see Joshua that drunk, so can you blame me?” he asks, and Jeonghan smirks at the attempt to put the blame the other way around. He thinks Seungcheol is the reason why he becomes so cheesy sometimes, but when his own ways are rubbing off to his lover as well, then maybe it will be going to be really like that sometimes.

Gingerly standing up from his seat, Jeonghan shrugs nonchalantly. “And it’s also rare to see Shua mad so we better get going now because he hates when we’re late,” his voice singsongs, and he takes his time sipping the last of his drink.

"Oh, yeah. We need to bring Ppoppo to my Mom."

"Yeah! That's right."

"Hopefully, we'll be at Joshua's party in time."

"Yeah, so we better start moving now, Cheol. Ppoppo is waiting at home. We need someone to look out for our son."

Seungcheol is still holding his hand.

“You wouldn’t tell me on to him, right?”

“Who knows?”

“Babe!”

Jeonghan laughs. It’s time like this that he’s so grateful he opened his door for Seungcheol. The same time he did, a part of him was exposed as well.

Heart, that’s sure.

A tighter grip, and it’s all it takes for Seungcheol to know what’s running in Jeonghan’s mind. “I love you,” he says, eyes staring straight back at Jeonghan’s, his smile soft and fond. He always gives that. He always reserves that smile for him. And Jeonghan always feels the affection, the love. Even if Seungcheol is far away, or if he’s at the other corner of the room, or at the other side of the world, or if they’re beside each other, or just like right now, when the older male is still seated on his seat and he’s looking up to Jeonghan standing, he always catches the feelings.

He’s so grateful he opened his door for Seungcheol.

Leaning down, Jeonghan whispers his own confession, silent as they brush against Seungcheol’s lips but flamboyant as they slip from his breath. “I love you, too.”

* * *

Another plate had been thrown.

At least, that’s what Seungcheol concludes. The apartment building is too quiet for him to not notice. The faint sound had reached his dreams and woke him up from his nap. No, it did not annoy Seungcheol. If ever, it made him worried. What could have been going on in the unit above his? A fight? Hopefully it did not hurt. Violence is something he tries so hard to not get associated with.

Another shatter.

His feet move from their own accord. Move. Move. Move. Before Seungcheol could stop himself, he is already pushing himself off the bed and hastily putting what needs to be on to be able to walk outside. Shirt. Jacket. Slippers. Everything became a blur. His door. The chilliness that greets him. The hallways. The lift. His hurried steps. His mind. The door of a unit that isn’t his.

And he’s ringing the bell.

It didn’t dawn on him yet – what the hell is he doing – but when the door opens only then it felt like he is slapped across his face.

Why was Seungcheol here again? He tries to rack his brain to say something, anything! What was it he came for? His tongue felt tight and his ears had been silent. Seungcheol felt the quietness enveloping the hallways, the space between them, and the apartment behind that door. Where is the shattering sound? Where is the noise? Had he been just dreaming? He swears he heard it; feeble in his sleep, loud and clear in his rise. It was there. Seungcheol wouldn’t be here if the sound didn’t call for him.

Did the sound really call for him?

He wanted to know.

“Is everything okay?” he asked.

The man that greeted him had his sweater zipped up to his chin. Seungcheol remembered how in his grade classes, one thing to recognize if their drawing is happy or sad is by looking at the mouth. Does it turn upward? Does it turn downward? It had been a basic knowledge that gets to pass by like a story of spoken history.

Seungcheol does not believe in them.

The cloth is slightly hiding the man’s mouth and Seungcheol can’t see where his lips are entirely tugged. Does he need? Slowly, like he’s unravelling something that was hidden for so long, like a piano in an old mansion wrapped in cloth, plastic and dusts, his eyes trail – climb – towards the gems that look like they weren’t reached by the sunlight from where they are dug from their dirt. When his eyes meet the man’s, Seungcheol figures he doesn’t.

“I heard sounds in there,” he continues, head unintentionally slightly moving to get a sight of what’s going on inside the apartment. He tries to be discreet as he can be. The least he wanted to be called is a nosy neighbour who likes to invade other’s privacy. Not really a good thing. So, his eyes move passed the man’s shoulder, but before it slices through, Seungcheol had been able to see his dark hair, his ears, his cheeks, his eye, and he liked to say it was also unintentional, but his gaze lingers longer to the man’s flushed cheeks and swollen eye.

“Your ears might have been playing tricks on you.”

Seungcheol meets his gaze.

The man avoids.

The man turns his head sideways, as if trying to look for a source of the noise along the hallways. Seungcheol almost, almost, followed his movement if he wasn’t so entranced with how the man is trying so hard to look… fine.

It shouldn’t be scenic. It shouldn’t make him feel mesmerized. However, for some unknown reason Seungcheol can’t seem to decipher, his eyes are fixed on the man’s face. Is there something picturesque about this man’s eyes and voice that made him feel enamoured?

“It comes from your apartment.”

The man freezes.

“Thanks, sir. For the concern – I mean,” he stammers, like he did not just harden for a second. “But I need to go back in.”

Seungcheol did not know what to say.

The man looked less than lost – more like, trapped. Seungcheol felt bad that he’s making him feel that way, but damn is he so lost. Seungcheol felt like someone just told him he’s still dreaming when he can feel the coldness of the hallways sipping through his clothes, his slippers, his socks and his skin.

The only thing he heard before he sees the door closed is another thanks and a soft greetings for the holidays.

* * *

“We broke up.”

Pause. Blink. Hum. Pause. The milktea stopped its train of travel in the confined of its straws. The coldness is stuck, hugging the metal around it longer than it would usually do. Seungcheol finally lets go of the straw from his lips, watching as the small amount of his drink falls down to a small puddle inside the cup.

“How are you?” he asked. “Crap. But I’ll be fine,” Wonwoo replied. A smile makes its way to his lips, appreciative and kind to the older male. “Thanks, hyung. It has always been ‘how’s the breakup’ and rarely ‘how are yous’ so it felt nice hearing that.”

Seungcheol smiles, lips back around his straw. When the sound of his cup getting emptied rang around their ears, both males laugh. Seungcheol watches as his friend chuckles. Huh. Maybe there is really something about humans laughing still even when they are covered with sadness. Is it a natural thing to do? Honestly, Seungcheol wouldn’t know. He knew his life had its fair share of same episodes, so he guesses he cannot talk, but there is something bewitching in witnessing it to a face you would see with your eyes, not through a mirror or through your heart.

When Wonwoo had asked if they could hang out at its place after they finished both of their drinks, Seungcheol quickly agreed.

Wait.

It was a little late to take it back when he remembered that his neighbour from above his might be having some kind of problem again. “Um,” he falters. Wonwoo quickly stopped stuffing his things in his backpack to turn to him. “Is there a problem, hyung?”

He wonders if Wonwoo would take it as a problem since technically it’s not their problem.

Or maybe Wonwoo could take it as a problem if he becomes annoyed by it.

Is that how it works?

“Nothing. Let’s go,” Seungcheol says.

When they walked on the hallways, Seungcheol becomes extra silent to be able to hear something going on upstairs. Surprisingly, it’s very silent today. Whoo. That’s a relief.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

Seungcheol turns to Wonwoo in a flash. Did he sigh? Damn. The younger guy is sporting a concerned look. “We can just hangout some other time, hyung,” he adds. When he wants to add more to his words, Seungcheol had cut him off by ruffling his hair and pushing him inside the apartment. His younger friend could only giggle.

The rest of their day is spent talking about random things, the funny things their friends had done, the silly things they did themselves, a cheering up ceremony or something, which ends up with Seungcheol’s speakers blasting all songs talking about how he’s there for his friend, how he can lean on their dumb friends, all that things. Wonwoo laughs at them but sings along anyway. Seungcheol does not want to force him in getting better, no. Just a reminder that he has his friends around him is enough.

“You know, my friend lives in the unit above this.”

Seungcheol turns his head to Wonwoo, cheek pressed on the back of his couch. The two of them had been staring at the ceiling for a while now, mind wandering aimlessly before Seungcheol’s attention got called… really fast.

“You know that person?”

Wonwoo turns his head sideways to meet Seungcheol’s eyes. “You know Jeonghan-hyung?”

“Jeonghan…” he trails off, not even answering Wonwoo’s question. For some reason, though, he felt like a question in his head had been satisfied. Definitely not Wonwoo’s because the guy repeated his question with a little nudge before Seungcheol was able to pull himself out of his trance. Embarrassing. “Not really. Just saw him a few times,” he stammers out. Wonwoo nods his head, his eyes going back to the ceiling and Seungcheol silently followed the movement.

Beyond his ceiling, he hopes Jeonghan, this Jeonghan, could hear his songs well.

* * *

“You guys live in the same apartment!”

Seungcheol found himself sitting in a dazed. Who just spoke? It sounded like Seungkwan, reminding him that he and Jeonghan live in the same building. He’s not sure if they really needed the reminder. Judging from Jeonghan’s face across his seat, the guy looks like he’s lost as well as to what is happening around their small table cramped with grown ass college men. The both of them are suddenly the focus of the conversation and honestly, one of them should say something now so the flow of the talk would divert to something else.

Seungcheol took the role.

“Yeah.”

Great answer.

Instead of having the conversation divert to something else like what he thought, their friends’ heads just moved towards Jeonghan and Seungcheol panicked inside.

“Jeonghan-hyung?” Seungkwan had asked.

With their eyes on Jeonghan, Seungcheol took the opportunity to look straight at Jeonghan’s eyes, hoping that he’d get the message in his eyes which basically say ‘just say anything, it’s going to be fine’ but honestly, he wouldn’t blame him if he got it wrong because Seungcheol can feel his eyes widening so hard, he might just look like a threat. He’s actually amused that Jeonghan is not running yet with these people overcrowding his space.

“Yeah. He helped me with my boxes before.”

No, he did not.

“As expected of Seungcheol-hyung,” Seokmin proudly says from the side.

Seungcheol bites his tongue inside.

Try to smile. Try to smile. Make it look like it’s all true. Smile. Come on.

His smile probably looks stiff so he snatched his sandwich from his bag and took a bite. The conversation finally moves into something about briefs and boxers but Seungcheol’s mind stays from where it was left off. Why would Jeonghan say that? Maybe Jeonghan does not acknowledge him catching his sadness before? Or maybe Jeonghan just doesn’t want him meddling to his business? Maybe Jeonghan’s better in settling to an imaginary memory than recognizing that they had met into a whole lot different circumstance?

Seungcheol chews.

“Hyung!”

A piece of lettuce almost disgustingly slips out of his mouth. “Yeah?” he mumbles, eyes wide as he stares back at the eyes now pointed at him. When did the conversation turn to him?

“Jeonghan-hyung is asking if he can bring cheesecake over to your apartment.”

Seungcheol chokes in his sandwich. This time, the lettuce slipped out. “Ew, hyung!” Seungkwan screeches, fleeting away quicker than anyone had ever witnessed him. A couple other sound of utter disgusts and hatreds echoed from the boys. Seungcheol almost wanted to rile them up even more by spitting more lettuce out of his mouth when a small giggle across from his seat reached his ears.

Jeonghan is silently giggling on his seat, trying so hard to stop himself from laughing out loud with looking down. His bangs fall like curtains around his face and Seungcheol felt mesmerized once again.

He only remembered cheekily telling Jeonghan that he’s waiting for his cheesecake.

* * *

“Oh, uh – thanks?” Seungcheol hates himself for sounding so unsure, but for the record, he didn’t really expect Jeonghan to bring a cheesecake over!

Jeonghan stands stiffly outside. He kept on fumbling with the excess sleeve of his sweaters – sweater paws, cute – and he looked just as disoriented and helpless as Seungcheol. Frankly, the two of them looked like they’re about to run off to somewhere or if not, stay and rot in their places without moving an inch. That wouldn’t look good, of course, and even in the middle of major puzzlement, Seungcheol knew better than to let that happen. It will probably make things more awkward between them than it already is. Seungcheol cringed. Just by thinking of the possibility than they can be more awkward than this, it does not feel right.

Say something. Ask something. Anything.

“Do you want to come in?”

Seungcheol tried not to be pushy in his tone, voice soft to let Jeonghan know that whatever decision he’ll make would not make the former upset. Hopefully, it gets through. Seungcheol does not want to make the other feel like he does not have a choice. That’s a horrible feeling.

A small voice. “Is it okay?”

“Of course.” Of course! It’s very much alright!

Pushing the door wide open, Seungcheol thinks he’s been weighing too much on the negative sides, like Jeonghan declining to head in, so when he actually accepts, Seungcheol is in a mix of emotions; happiness, surprise, amusement, astonishment, confusion, Jeonghan standing like a statue in the middle of his living room – oh shit.

Seungcheol shakes his head. Focus!

“You can sit on the couch, Jeonghan!”

Jeonghan nods and sits himself on the couch, like instructed, but he’s still pretty much rigid in stance. Seungcheol racks his brain to say something that would hopefully get the guy out of his solidity, if that’s a thing to humans, and the only thing he could think of is about the cheesecake. “Let’s share the cheesecake,” he says. Jeonghan looks up to him, eyes a bit wide, voice still small like earlier. “Are you sure? That’s for you.”

Seungcheol is already getting utensils from the kitchen. “Of course! Food is good when it is shared, Jeonghan.” No, absolutely not. Food is the best when it is eaten alone, but for some reason, Seungcheol wants to share the cheesecake with Jeonghan. He hadn’t known if he sounded sincere about what he said, but sure as hell that he’s very enthusiastic in saying Jeonghan’s name. Jeonghan. Jeonghan. He had said the name two times in a row now so far from this conversation. That’s a win! He’s one step closer to getting out of this awkwardness and making the guy feel at home!

He reaches out his hand to offer the fork. Jeonghan is hesitant, expectedly so, but with an encouraging nod and grin from Seungcheol, he gently accepted it with a small ‘thanks’ out from his lips.

They ate in silence. Seungcheol wanted to open the television, his radio, some music on his phone, but upon observing the other, Jeonghan seems comfortable with the silence. Seungcheol hopes his deduction is right. Jeonghan seems contented silently eating the cheesecake – strawberry flavoured, Seungcheol figured – and observing his unit.

“Do I bother you?”

Screech! A sound of a car abruptly stepping on a brake echoed in Seungcheol’s mind.

“Huh?”

Jeonghan puts down the fork on the plate, bites his lip for a second before staring up at the ceiling. Seungcheol unknowingly followed him with his eyes. “I meant, the sound. Does it bother you?”

So, Seungcheol isn’t just dreaming, then.

Jeonghan watches as Seungcheol stabs his fork on the cheesecake before taking a bite. He didn’t know if it is because the man is in his unit so he looks relaxed compared to him, or the matter just does not weigh heavy than how he thinks it would. He almost felt ashamed, preparing his mind to make an excuse to get out of there, when Seungcheol smiles at him with an offered cheesecake stabbed on his fork.

“Have you tried this part? It tastes the best.”

Is this man trying to feed him?

Jeonghan knew the ridiculousness of this all. They barely knew each other. They only met twice! The first one not starting in its best situation, honestly could be better. The second one compromises of their mutual friends that interactions between them were scarce because of eleven other people surrounding them. Jeonghan did not even know Seungcheol’s last name. He just knew that this man lives in the unit below his, his name is Seungcheol, they have mutual friends, he has a great smile and laugh, he looks kind, he knocks on his door when he heard a ruckus going on inside Jeonghan’s apartment, and maybe those reasons are more than enough for Jeonghan to open his mouth and chew on the strawberry cheesecake offered to him.

Seungcheol just fed him.

His face felt strawberry.

And between their silent times enjoying the cheesecake, between the quietness of Jeonghan being fed by someone kind named Seungcheol, he saw a gentle smile and hears the man say, “No. It’s not a bother. You’re not a bother.”

* * *

“What’s going on between you and Jeonghan-hyung?”

Seungcheol spits his drink and loudly fell on an aggressive coughing fit. “Water, water!” someone shouts, sounds like Seokmin panicking, while he hears Jihoon beside him trying to ease him back into a non-coughing Seungcheol which includes calling him dumb, if that’s anywhere comforting.

The bottle water made its way across his face later than what he felt first, though. Jeonghan’s hands cradled his face and don’t ask him how he knew it is Jeonghan’s hands. It’ll make him spit the water he’s drinking now.

Jeonghan continues to fuss over Seungcheol even if the latter’s face gets back to its normal colour. “What? Are you okay? Are you breathing? Are you – ” Seungcheol cuts him off by gripping the hands holding his face and gently squeezing them. “I’m fine,” he says, smiles softly to ease the frown plastered on Jeonghan’s face. The younger still seems doubtful so Seungcheol sighs and taps his chin in a manner he never did to any of his friends – which, by the way, are all watching them like a movie in its premiere night.

“What are you thinking about, anyway? That’s dangerous, Cheol,” Jeonghan scoffs when he’s sure that Seungcheol isn’t dying. Panic quickly reflects on Seungcheol’s face and now Jeonghan is more suspicious of what they are talking about for the man to choke on his drink.

Jihoon raises his hand at the side.

Oh, no. Chills. Fight or flight.

Jeonghan quickly holds Seungcheol’s hand when he sees it trying to stop whatever Jihoon is trying to say. He could only hear the man groaning in pain but his eyes are settled on Jihoon, deadly and threatening. “What is it, Jihoon? What are you guys talking about earlier for this man to almost die earlier?” he hisses. If he heard it’s about women then Seungcheol better prepare himself to a loud cry of pain when Jeonghan pours his wrath over him.

However, Jihoon only giggles cutely on his cola. “I just asked what’s going on between you and that dumbass, hyung.”

Oh.

Seungcheol slumped back on the couch when Jeonghan releases his grip on his arm. All of their friends are whistling and hollering around them but honestly, he does not care. His eyes are only settled on Jeonghan, frozen, stiff, like how he is months ago when they first met, hands still hovering mid-air from where he lets go of Seungcheol’s arm. Jeonghan’s cheeks and ears turned a cute shade of reddish pink. It’s a sight that somehow makes him smile as well.

“Okay, kids. Let us leave the adults alone in their business,” Joshua says as he clanks his glass. Seungcheol rolls his eyes towards every grinning face that hovers over him as they shout their victory song.

He pushes himself up. Seungcheol can’t help but smile when he sees Jeonghan still staring at nothing even after the kids have gone to wherever they need to be. “Come on, Han. Don’t take them seriously. They were just probably joking.”

Jeonghan flinches.

Seungcheol does, too, even when he was the one who said it.

His mind goes back to the times where he and Jeonghan would hangout alone rather than with their group. How many times had they slept over to each other’s units? He can’t seem to count. How many late night conversations and secrets had they shared? A mountain of ‘em. How many forehead kisses had Jeonghan demanded from him and had he given starting this month? Too many. How much had his hand always felt occupied because they always hold Jeonghan’s hands? Hard to calculate. He doesn’t also cuddle someone while watching a movie, even his ex-girlfriend, but he won’t let his arms be anywhere but around Jeonghan. He thinks he heard Jeonghan’s boyfriend complain about it, how Jeonghan spends more time with him – which he can’t really argue with. His ex-girlfriend broke it off with him, too because of the same reason. Seungcheol only found himself getting it on with his life, no extravagant change, because he is still with Jeonghan most of the time – and it hits him, that heck yeah, he and Jeonghan are always together.

So, what’s going on, then?

“Jeonghan – ”

Before he could even continue, the younger male had already stood up and left the room.

* * *

“You really fucked up big time, man.”

“Thanks for reminding, Jun. Now go back to your potato grilling thing.”

Junhui whined at him, saying about it not being a potato grilling thing, and Seungcheol almost felt bad if he isn’t already feeling it for himself. He groans and pushes his face on his pillow, screaming into oblivion, which only sounded like a muffled agony of a dying old man. Minghao only giggled at him. Brat.

“I’m going to ask you something, hyung!” Minghao quips excitedly. Seungcheol furrowed his brows together, seemingly ready to pass on whatever his younger friend is about to throw on him. “Hao, my head is in pain. I don’t have time for your philosophical…”

“You and Jeonghan-hyung are always together, right?”

“Yeah?” Seungcheol replied. He’s not unsure of his answer, because hell yeah they are always joined at the hip, but he’s sceptical to where this conversation is about to go to.

Minghao smiles at him, “You’re so used having Jeonghannie-hyung around, right?”

“Yeah…” Seungcheol gulps.

“But would it be fine with you if Jeonghan-hyung spends time and cuddles with others like what he does with you?”

“Who the fuck would he cuddle like that other than me?” Seungcheol sits up and grits his teeth. However, Minghao only smiles at him and in that moment, Seungcheol knew he’s fucked up. Realization dawns on his face.

Seungcheol drops his face on the pillow to shout against the oblivion, again.

“Maybe if you stopped sulking and actually talked to Jeonghan-hyung, you wouldn’t be like that,” Chan supplied from where he is sprawled on the floor, playing with his phone. Seungcheol sat up, sighed loudly to effectively catch the trio’s attention to him, only to fall back in his bed, face flat against his pillow. Chan furrowed his eyebrows in confusion as to what the hell is he trying to say when suddenly, he heard the muffled voice of reason.

“He’s been avoiding me.”

“Yikes,” Chan and Junhui replied.

The youngest of the trio climbed on Seungcheol’s bed. “For how long already?” he asks as he lays on his side. He watches Seungcheol sigh against the pillow again and he grabs one for himself to hug against his chest. When Seungcheol pulled his face, he can’t help but smile at how young Chan looked. He ruffled his hair with a grin and it dawns on him that Chan is younger but he’s here listening to his hyung’s whining. Um.

He lays on his back, arms and legs spread like a starfish and hand almost hitting Junhui’s face.

“Over a week.”

Junhui cringes. “Okay. I’m holding a party this weekend. Like, an early Christmas party. You should go. Jeonghan-hyung will be there,” he proposes and Seungcheol shrinks. “The last time I did, he walked out on me.” Junhui had only rolled his eyes, and it amazes Seungcheol how effective it is to make him feel so guilty and dumb of himself.

“That’s because you were being an asshole, hyung. Now get your ass out of your head and make it right.”

* * *

So, that’s how Seungcheol found himself in between drinking college students in the overcrowded living room. It is a lot harder to find Jeonghan in a space where everyone seems hampered to move without elbowing someone in the face, but it seems that that’s exactly is what these kids are enjoying at the moment. Seungcheol couldn’t care less. He needs to get his way out of this swarm of sweaty people and hopefully be presentable enough when he faces the beauty of Yoon Jeonghan.

Step in. Step out. Wavered a bit. These people are moving a lot!

His legs are already aching and the smell of booze and alcohol is not helping him at all when a hand seductively slides down his arm. Oh no.

“I’m sorry, I’m really not interested,” he had quickly said, hands up beside his head. Seungcheol is not sure if this makes the woman think he’s surrendering himself to her because what he wants to say is that, nope, his hands won’t ever touch an inch of the woman’s skin to not stir a misunderstood invitation – which, by the way, is hard to when the woman is literally swaying drunkenly from side to side and it’ll be on Seungcheol’s conscience when this girl hits her face flat on the floor if he does not support her. Oh, man. Why is this happening to him? He just wants to make up with Jeonghan tonight but instead he is given a series of challenges.

“Jiyeon, he said he’s not interested,” a voice says from Seungcheol’s side.

That’s Jeonghan’s voice.

Seungcheol became lost in a daze as he stares at Jeonghan looking so good tonight. The only thing he could remember was Jeonghan sighing when the obviously drunk woman only giggled, Jeonghan calling for someone to take care of the girl and Jeonghan pulling him out of the room.

“Junhui said you’re looking for me,” were Jeonghan’s first words when the door closed and Seungcheol stumbled outside the hallways. Trying to settle his balance, Seungcheol turns to Jeonghan. He could hear the faint sound of bass and cheering inside Junhui’s place, but Jeonghan’s gaze upon him is heavy that it makes his heart beat louder in his ears. Alas, his words are caught in his throat.

Jeonghan’s face fell.

“If you’re not going to say anything, I’ll head – ”

“Wait, wait, Hannie,” Seungcheol finally moves! His hands find purchase around Jeonghan’s arms, eyes frantically catching the younger male’s. “Let’s talk. Please,” he says, breathless. Jeonghan looks at him through his lashes and Seungcheol realizes how much he misses him. “I missed you, Hannie…”

“You do?”

“I do.”

“You’re not joking?”

“No!” Seungcheol whines. When he saw the other laughing a bit at him, he took a breath, feeling his own smile growing on his lips. “Jeonghan, listen,” he starts, eyes filled with eagerness to let Jeonghan know what he wants to say. He should make this right, especially now that Jeonghan seems lighter than earlier. If he wants to make it right, he better not mess up. “I was a jerk – a bastard, an asshole.” Seungcheol pouts when Jeonghan nods to all of this. “Okay, I understand you’re mad at me, and yes, you have all the rights to be so.”

“I just want to say that you’re always with me and I thought that’s normal – like, it’s part of my life already, and so I tried to push the thought that there could be something more than that at the back of my mind, even if I knew I was infatuated with you when you gave me that cheesecake.” Jeonghan can’t help but cracked a smile at Seungcheol’s confession. “Do you really have to mention the cheesecake?” he had asked. Seungcheol looked at him incredulously, as if what he said is thoroughly offending, before saying, “Of course?! It had been an important element of my overflowing affection for you.” As if realizing that their conversation is getting diverted, Seungcheol shakes his head and smiles, “Let me finish first, please. We can’t get to the part where I’ll kiss you if we don’t let me finish.”

Looking very amused, Jeonghan raised his eyebrows. “So you planned on kissing me…” he said under his breath. If the prospect of Seungcheol kissing him excites him, that’s for him to keep.

“So, yeah. Minghao asked me if I imagined myself spending a lot of my time with you, and I said yes, because obviously? That’s what we’re literally doing, right?” They hadn’t realized that they are inching closer to each other, slowly closing the distance between them. Jeonghan nods as a reply to Seungcheol’s question, hand coming up to touch the older male’s cheek. “Right,” Seungcheol nods. “And then he asked me if I imagined myself sharing the way we cuddle to others, and guess what I said?”

“No?” Jeonghan humours him. Seungcheol grins wide and bright. “That’s right. You’re so smart,” he praises, hands caressing Jeonghan’s waist and lips touching his forehead in a gentle kiss.

“Why did you think I said no?”

Their foreheads touch.

“Because you like me?”

“I like you, Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan felt like his breath has been taken away by the intensity of Seungcheol’s gaze at him. “I like you. I like you. I like you a lot,” Seungcheol continues to confess. His voice comes out breathless, he’s aware, but he can’t help but feel like it when Jeonghan’s face looking shy yet happy is making his mind fuzzy. He slightly turns his head on the side, pressing a kiss on Jeonghan’s warm cheek.

The two spent their time grinning and affectionately brushing their noses together when Jeonghan spoke.

“I thought you’re going to kiss me.”

Seungcheol felt grateful that he’s not drinking anything if he does not want a sequel of him almost choking to death.

He only smiled sheepishly. His feet steps backwards, putting distance between them and it made him sick in the stomach upon watching Jeonghan’s face falling when he stepped out of their space. “What’s wrong, Cheol?”

“Hannie, your boyfriend…”

Silence.

And then Jeonghan scoffed, “You idiot.”

And then they are kissing.

Seungcheol does not have the time to register anything when Jeonghan pulled him by the nape and pressed their lips together. Jeonghan’s lipbalm – it tastes like cherry. Seungcheol still hadn’t responded properly, because he does not know if they should be doing this when the other has a boyfriend, which apparently irked Jeonghan. Pulling away, still a hand on Seungcheol’s nape, he jeers, “We broke up four – five months ago? Ugh, but it was one week after you and your ex broke up, you idiot.” It should be funny how he’s looking mad while panting so hard, but Seungcheol can’t say anything because this night made him realized how stupid he is. “Do you think I’ll let you kiss me on the forehead if I’m still in a relationship? Or hold my hand? Okay, sure, we cuddle even way before which leads to our exes breaking it off, but I just don’t let anyone kiss me on the forehead, Cheol.”

“Wait, he broke up with you?”

Jeonghan presses a quick kiss against Seungcheol’s lips, “I was about to, anyway, but he got into it first.”

Mouth open. Mouth close. Mouth open. Mouth close. Seungcheol looked like a fish. In his hazy state of mind – the one that is head-over-heels for Jeonghan – he understands one thing; that Jeonghan is apparently single.

Oh.

And he’s a big stupid.

Oh.

A gasp left Jeonghan’s lips before it was taken away by Seungcheol’s own. Is Seungcheol not responding earlier? They’re sure he isn’t returning the kisses before, but it seems that the man is throwing that memory out of extinction because his kisses are making Jeonghan dizzy and insane. His back is pressed against the wall beside the door, Seungcheol encaging him closely, and anyone could go out and witness them kissing the hell out of each other, but Jeonghan does not care; not when Seungcheol opened his mouth and tasted him like he is a sweet treat made to be explored with the other’s tongue.

“Cheol,” Jeonghan pants, because frankly he thinks there’s nothing he can do now that Seungcheol’s lips went down to worship his jaw. Seungcheol goes lower, and lower, until his mouth is leaving open-mouthed kisses on the skin he wanted so bad to mark on.

“If Junhui goes out,” Seungcheol grins, and Jeonghan wonders how the hell is he the only one looking like a wreck. “We’re going to be so fucked,” he finishes. Despite his words, he held a hand under one of Jeonghan’s thighs and hosted it up around his waist, which only made the younger male crazier than he already is. Seungcheol goes back to kissing him hungrily and smiles when Jeonghan’s mouth fell open in a silent moan upon feeling Seungcheol grinding against him. The tug in his hair is tighter with each movement as Jeonghan held to him like he is holding his sanity. “Cheol!” Jeonghan whimpers, head thrown back and arms wrapped tightly around the man’s neck. Seungcheol ravishes the open space of his neck and their hips continues to encourage each other.

Damn. With someone pressed against a wall, with one of his legs wrapped around the one enclosing him in, which by the way is marking him like there’s no tomorrow coming for the two of them, they probably look awfully inappropriate doing it in the hallways.

“Let’s go home?” Seungcheol murmurs against Jeonghan’s lips. “Please,” the latter nods.

* * *

Seungcheol walks along the hallways, hot chocolate drink in his hand. His earplugs are blasting a song that he honestly can’t remember the title, but he is sure he heard this song from his boyfriend and immediately asked him about it. He can’t remember the title, but Seungcheol can’t forget the smile that bloomed on Jeonghan’s face when he saw the older male adding the song to his playlist.

He was just about to round the corner when his arm is held a step back.

“Hey, Chan,” he grins, free hand already taking one plug off his ear. The pout on Chan’s face suggested that Seungcheol might have done something to upset the young guy. He guesses his mistake right away, “You’ve been calling me, haven’t you?”

“Yes, hyung!” Chan whines, arms flailing wildly beside him. “Like, for over five times already! How do you do that?! But if it’s Jeonghan-hyung calling, you’re so quick to turn!” he adds. Seungcheol didn’t miss the smiles from the people overhearing them as they go to their destination. Maybe Chan isn’t wrong. Even most of the students inside the campus can agree to an extent. Seungcheol can’t help but smile at that. Chan is immediate to catch up. “Hyung, okay, we get it, you and Jeonghan-hyung are this campus’ sweethearts. We get it.”

The older male’s laugh was just held back in time when they push the library’s door open. Several students are occupying the tables and Seungcheol didn’t waste time roaming his eyes to look for his favourite person. Near the windows, snuck in a corner, Jeonghan is hunched over his binder and textbook. Seungcheol hadn’t mind the eyes following him as he walks over towards Jeonghan. It’s just him in Seungcheol’s vision; narrowed, specified, clear.

“Hey, baby.”

Jeonghan immediately looks up. “Cheollie!” he whispers excitedly as a grin splits on his face. Seungcheol is hovering over him, eyes sparkling and teeth showing in a beam. He slightly pushes his hand against his table to lift himself up from his seat, lips touching Seungcheol’s for a second before they could get called out by a librarian.

It is only when Seungcheol rounds his table to sit beside him did he register Chan’s presence. “Channie, my baby, hi!” he greets. Chan scrunches his nose because of the nickname but he didn’t make any vocal protest, anyway. Both seniors know that the youngest enjoys the affection deep inside. Chan plops himself to a seat across the two males with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Don’t mind me. I’ll be extra focus on this so I wouldn’t mind you guys making out in front of me or whatever,” he trails off. Jeonghan snickers when he catches the youngest taking out a new manga volume from his backpack.

“Did you trick Seungcheol again into buying that?”

“Come on, Hannie. He deserves a new manga to read.”

Jeonghan turns to his boyfriend, “You’re spoiling him.”

Seungcheol pouts and Jeonghan only rolls his eyes. “Whatever. It’s your money, anyway,” he scoffs, adding reminders about not spoiling their youngest so much. He also reminded Chan to not stay up late reading. Hopefully, his words got into his head, which most likely did not from how Chan’s eyes looked so focused at the moment. Jeonghan can’t help but mumble again, “Cheol, promise me this is his last manga for this month.”

Beside him, his boyfriend nods his head in return. “Sure, strawberry.” Jeonghan playfully glares at that. He would like to wipe the grin off Seungcheol’s face but he also cannot deny the feelings he gets every time he hears Seungcheol calling him by pet names… whether it’ll be inside or outside their bedroom.

“You called me ‘strawberry’…” Jeonghan grins, voice unintentionally going higher in pitch. His eyes flutter in merriment and Seungcheol absolutely loves the view of his boyfriend being so fucking adorable, but Jeonghan’s try in winking (and failing miserably) is never not an amusing sight to see. Jeonghan scrunches his nose, eyes blinking adorably again.

“I know I told you guys I don’t mind you two making out, but I don’t think I’m ready to hear your bedroom escapades,” Chan slices between their smiling faces. The two males threw a certainly not-apologetic eyes in return. When Chan gets back to his reading, with Seungcheol’s earplugs now in his ears because he knows he’ll hear more about it, Jeonghan turns back to his boyfriend.

“I thought we’re keeping ‘strawberry’ reserved in bed?”

“I said ‘strawberry’ means you look fresh and pretty, babe.”

“But you just call me that in bed.”

“And?”

“You mean I look fresh and pretty when we’re in bed?”

By now, the smiles on their faces are already wide and both teasing. Seungcheol leans in, dropping a delicate kiss to the apple of Jeonghan’s cheek. “You always look fresh and pretty, in and out of our bedroom.”

The way Seungcheol had said it made Jeonghan a melting goo of feelings and emotions. It’s like this moment when he feels he’s falling all over again, if not harder, for Seungcheol. In the midst of joking around, the confidence and assurance in Seungcheol’s voice when he gives compliments just makes Jeonghan float.

“How are you?” Seungcheol asks then, brushing some of Jeonghan’s hair out of his eyes. The latter can’t help the genuine pout in his lips. He has been longing for his boyfriend for quite some time and now that he’s there with him, in a fucking library that should not make him emotionally romantic, but somehow it does, Jeonghan can’t help but sigh. “Missed you,” he breathes out. Seungcheol could only smile fondly in return. He has been missing the younger male as well and knowing that the feeling is shared makes his chest warm.

“Really, really missed you, Cheollie,” Jeonghan adds, lower lip tucked out and eyes cast downwards.

Both of them had been incredibly busy and neither thought that they would survive, yet here they are; alive! Even when the two males live together, their schedules from the previous weeks did not really match up. Seungcheol usually went home late at night and while Jeonghan had shown persistence on staying up to wait for him, the older male did not allow him to. How could he not? Out of the two of them, Jeonghan has the earliest classes the following day. The first few days had been an incredible (but not surprising) streak of stubbornness from Jeonghan but eventually, Seungcheol is glad he sees him sleeping well when he arrived back at past 12 midnight.

“Want to go out tonight, or do you have plans?” Seungcheol asked, voice soft and low. The way Jeonghan’s eyes instantly lit up from the proposition reminded him how much he missed the younger boy. His wide grin, scrunched nose, bangs falling over his forehead as he nods his head enthusiastically – Seungcheol felt a reunion of something he has always been longing for.

“Don’t have!” Oops. Jeonghan got too excited.

The two of them both snapped their necks to look at the librarian, but fortunately, Jeonghan’s louder volume did not get to their table. Sighing in relief, both males threw apologetic looks to the nearby students that turned their heads hearing Jeonghan’s excited squeal.

“Too excited, aren’t we?” Seungcheol teased.

Jeonghan only grinned wider. He pressed a huge kiss on Seungcheol’s cheek, a declaration of gratefulness and anticipation lingering on the skin, peppered with sugar and honey from his lips. He knew his cheeks might be pink by now but Jeonghan hadn’t really mind showing how peachy Seungcheol makes him feel. If anything, Jeonghan could burst in an array of colours for Seungcheol to witness – his happiness, sadness, and loveliness, everything about him. It is always a rollercoaster ride with Choi Seungcheol, one with loops in his stomach, thrill in his skin, thump in his chest but certainly not scary – not with his special person holding his hand.

* * *

Relationships always had its ups and downs, Seungcheol is aware of that, and he knew that his relationship with his boyfriend had always managed to have those problems talked and discussed mutually.

Except this one thing that both of them seemed to always brush off.

Actually, Seungcheol would sometimes think about how long will they be able to step out of it because most of the times, they just altogether forget about it. It is not healthy, that he’s aware, and he also knew that at some point in their lives, they will have no choice but to sit down and chat about it, especially if Seungcheol is planning to keep Jeonghan to his life for a very long time.

Maybe they already reached that point.

Jeonghan came home looking pale and Seungcheol had to call him multiple times just to get his attention. “I’m fine,” Jeonghan had said, but he wouldn’t believe it. Seungcheol is even more alert when the sound of a glass shattering from the kitchen echoed inside the apartment. He rushed towards the place only to see Jeonghan crying while staring down at the broken shards littering the floor.

“Cheol, I – I’m sorry, I – ”

Seungcheol presses a kiss on Jeonghan’s shoulder, hands softly holding his arms and smoothly pulling him away from the broken glasses. “It’s okay. I’ll clean it. It’s okay, baby,” his voice is tender as it reaches Jeonghan’s ears. It only made the younger sobbed harder. Seungcheol’s face fell. It always pains him seeing his boyfriend cry. Wrapping his arms around Jeonghan’s frame, he lets the younger male cry on his shoulder and clutch on his chest. “I love you, Hannie,” he sings to Jeonghan’s ears as he softly rocks their bodies together side by side. “I love you. You’re so strong. I love you so much, baby.”

When Jeonghan is reduced to small hiccups, Seungcheol held him up to sit him on the kitchen island. Jeonghan’s breath continues to jump unevenly, shoulders flinching in inconsistent intervals, and Seungcheol presses kisses on his cheeks and shoulder. “I’m here,” he whispers, hands stroking the hardened knuckles gripping his shirt.

“What happened?”

“I’m – I’m okay.”

Seungcheol had his lips in a thin line. “Jeonghan.”

“Cheol,” the younger male only whines.

Seungcheol pulls away from their embrace. Jeonghan’s face panics. “No, no, no, Cheollie,” he whimpers, trying to reach out his hands to grab Seungcheol back. His boyfriend lets him touch his arms, but that’s it. After that, Seungcheol only remained standing and looking at him. Jeonghan thought he’s going to leave when the man spoke.

“Jeonghan, remember when I first knocked on your door?” Of course. How could he not remember? “I heard you breaking something in your apartment, and when I asked you about it, you said I was probably hearing things. You remember, babe?” Seungcheol takes a deep breath. His eyes were glassy and Jeonghan can see himself in his boyfriend’s eyes; he looks small, lost, and sad. He hears Seungcheol proceed, “Jeonghan, it isn’t just something shattering that I heard then. I heard you. I heard your voice breaking and shattering. I heard you crying. I heard how shattered you are, Jeonghan.”

Lips trembling, a whine from Jeonghan’s throat signalled that the male will cry again. Seungcheol moved forward, quickly pulled him closer and tucked his head against his shoulder. “Okay, okay. I’m sorry. Cheollie’s sorry,” he says and he swears he almost left it at that, only if he’s not aware that this would just happen again if this is not addressed right now. Sighing, he added, “But, Hannie, how can I help you if I don’t know what’s going on? I want to help you. Let Cheollie help, please?”

Arms are suddenly wrapping around Seungcheol’s torso tightly.

“You wouldn’t leave?”

“No. I’m with you.”

“Abroad.”

“Abroad?” Seungcheol asks, his fingers brushing the other’s hair. The hold around his middle can’t be impossibly tighter, but somehow Jeonghan made it possible. “What about abroad, baby?” he asks. He hopes it isn’t what he’s thinking.

Only that it is.

Jeonghan pulls away, new set of tears falling down his face. “They want me to go, but I don’t want to go,” he mumbles. “Papa, Mama… they’ve been asking me since then, way before we met, and I don’t want to go.” Seungcheol watches as Jeonghan cries again but it gets blurry, it gets watery when he felt his own cheeks getting damped with his own tears. The younger male hugs his knees against his chest, shaking his head, sobbing, “Especially now – I can’t go. I don’t want to go, Cheol! Christmas is near and I want to spend it with you! I can’t – I don’t… I don’t want to go…”

And Seungcheol does not want him to go as well.

But Seungcheol is not naïve about the late night calls Jeonghan had with his parents, how Jeonghan does not want Seungcheol hearing him talk with his family, how Jeonghan hides in the bathroom to converse in harsh whispers with his mother. Suddenly, in this realization, Seungcheol had finally made sense of how there is sadness in Jeonghan’s parents when they meet together. How Jeonghan’s mother and father always thank him for loving their son. Now it all made sense. It all made sense that it is hurting him, constricting his chest into an unexplainable type of pain, burning his eyes, drowning his breath.

Everything hurts, but…

“But, they’re family, Jeonghan…”

The small hiccups freeze, and suddenly everything is silent. Everything stopped moving. It feels too quiet that Seungcheol is afraid of his own breath.

Until Jeonghan unfreezes and sobs.

“Baby, wait – wait,” Seungcheol pleads, arms hugging Jeonghan in a tight embrace. The younger male continues to wiggle his way out, trying to jump off the island and probably run away somewhere just to get away out of there, but Seungcheol embraces him with such love and longing that Jeonghan loses all energy in fighting against him. His fists are weak as they hit Seungcheol’s chest but his cries are fervent. His hardened knuckles softened so slowly, palms sliding off his boyfriend’s shirt before they are left dangling on the side. Jeonghan slumps forward, tears falling continuously on his cheeks.

The couple stood there. Crying in an embrace, shattered glasses at the side.

* * *

Seungcheol’s lower lip is jutted out as he concentrates on putting the star at the top of the Christmas tree perfectly.

“That’s perfect, hyung! Thanks!” Hansol says when Seungcheol gets off the ladder. The older male felt his arm went numb as he sighs, “Mingyu should be doing this thing so we can get good use of his gigantic height.” Hansol quickly shakes his head, an innocent smile on his lips, and Seungcheol can’t help but be fond of the guy’s type of innocence. “Absolutely not, hyung. The tree will fall first, second Mingyu-hyung before he could get the star at the top.” Hansol just dissed Mingyu, but he looks absolutely fine and guilt-free. Seungcheol ruffles his hair affectionately.

He does not have the heart to tell Hansol that a star at the top of a Christmas tree seems outdated, so he only smiled at the younger and walked out of the room. Seungcheol catches the rest of the gang doing their own chores; some arranging the gifts, some eyeing the foods and people like Soonyoung and Seungkwan are already standing at the top of the table with a suspicious red cup in their hands.

“It isn’t even Christmas yet!” Seungcheol called when he walked passed them. They only raised their cups gleefully in greeting.

Pushing the door open, the chilliness of the month quickly crawled through his clothes. He closes the door behind him, leant his weight on it, and fished out his phone from his pocket.

**1 message from hannie**

merry christmas, cheollie~! hope youre enjoying your day!!! missing you lots~

Seungcheol’s cheeks felt warm. Despite the coldness of the metal device in his hand, he can’t help but feel warmth from Jeonghan’s message.

He is suddenly calling Jeonghan, his phone pressed against his ear. He hadn’t mind the ringing sound it makes which always reminds him of their distance, not with hearing the voice he’s always missing so much after seconds of waiting.

“Merry Christmas, Cheollie~!” Jeonghan’s bright voice quickly resonates straight to his heart. Seungcheol laughs as the younger male continues to sing random Christmas carols that he can and cannot recognize at the same time. He’s sure some of them exist and the others are made up by Jeonghan himself because he’s a creative gorgeous person just like that. Damn. Seungcheol is just missing him more and more.

“I missed you, Han.”

“Eh? Not even a holiday greeting? That’s upsetting me, Cheollie~” Jeonghan fakes sulk. The older male snorts, “Merry Christmas, Yoon Jeonghan.”

“I like it when you call me by my full name; makes me feel recognized by you for some reason,” the person from the other line giggles. Seungcheol could hear Jeonghan walking. “Are you outside?” The younger male made a sound of agreement, humming soundly and Seungcheol suddenly thinks that he’s making his steps more obvious because the pitter-patter of feet became more recognizable.

“What are you doing outside?”

“I’m with our son!”

“You’re walking Ppoppo around?”

“Hm!”

“What time is it there?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” That’s weird. Jeonghan always tells him what time it is in his place when they’re talking in the phone. It wasn’t something they made an agreement to do, but just became a habit. When Jeonghan left, both of them were tiptoeing to the new arrangement, and that includes being unable to keep track of the time until the other person is yawning and falling asleep on the screen. When it became obvious that they could not proceed and work out that way, Seungcheol made it to a point to always keep track of the time whenever they are doing phone calls or video calls. It just became a habit that Seungcheol would find himself asking even it wasn’t necessary.

Maybe it his way to stay grounded; away from dreaming that he could talk to Jeonghan all day without worrying about anything because there are a lot they should be thinking about.

When Jeonghan left, it felt different, obviously. Seungcheol realized that there’s a difference holding your special someone close to you, feeling their warmth, feeling their breath fanning your face when they whisper sweet talks, than hearing a static sound originating from kilometres away.

But one thing that Seungcheol never felt became different is how he’s so in love with Yoon Jeonghan.

Keeping in contacts with someone living at the different side of the world is already hard sometimes. They thought it’ll be harder if they’re trying to maintain a relationship as well.

“I’m not a clock, okay! Why don’t you check your phone, duh?!”

“I can’t. I’ll just miss you more with your face on my lockscreen.”

“Oh my god. You’re so in love with me.”

“Always been, always will, baby.”

“And then we broke up before because we thought that’s the best thing for the both of us? We’re idiots, Cheol.”

Seungcheol laughs.

Going back to those times, maybe around Jeonghan’s third month of stay abroad, Seungcheol felt ridiculous that they broke up. They thought it’ll be a good arrangement for the both of them; they could be free without thinking about their relationship limiting them, and honestly it seems ideal if thought about. It almost seems like a joke now that Seungcheol thinks about it. That breakup serves nothing more than sadness and longing for the both of them. They’re almost sure they were only fuelled by the stress of their different time zones, thinking that was the hardest part of their relationship.

Oh, boy, they were so wrong.

It hadn’t even been a couple of months when Seungcheol picked up his phone to hear a crying Jeonghan, telling him, “I can’t do this, Cheol – I can’t! I’m going crazy just thinking you’re dating anyone that is not me and, and – fuck, it’s driving me crazy! I can’t date, Cheol, gods it’s just making me sadder! I just came from a dinner date my friend set me up and Cheol, it’s my fifth try going out but it just doesn’t work out, nothing works out because they’re not you! Cheol, oh my god, I can’t do this shit – don’t fucking laugh at me you piece of shit!”

True enough, Seungcheol was laughing but with tears in his eyes. He sniffled, and Jeonghan heard him, and then soon they were both crying and comforting each other. Seungcheol remembers how Jeonghan cried even harder when he told him that he’s actually in the middle of packing his things to go on a three-day visit to Jeonghan because he also can’t do whatever shit they’ve tried to do and he’s very much eager to show Jeonghan that and get him back.

From then on, both called themselves idiots for being scared to something as time zones when clearly there are more things to get scared of.

“We were idiots, then, but we’re so matured now, no?” Seungcheol asks on the phone, sliding against the door to sit on the floor. Jeonghan singsongs a happy tune from the other line. “From the couple getting scared to time zones to a couple understanding that they aren’t holding the time, that life can be busy, but knew they are so in love and committed and faithful and loyal and I’m running out of adjectives to each other, I’d say yes. Definitely.”

Jeonghan sounded so proud telling that and Seungcheol couldn’t be prouder. They really have come a long way. “It’s my second Christmas without you.”

“Yeah. I left before we could celebrate our Christmas together. Sucks.”

“It’s okay. We’re just going to celebrate them in the future; lots of them.”

“Why not now, Cheol?”

Seungcheol’s breath hitched.

He hears clear footsteps from the end of the hallways.

“Turn your head at your left, honey.”

Seungcheol did, eyes glassy, hands shaking as it grips the device. But even with his glazed sight, he could always make of that body anywhere.

He slowly pushes himself up. One step. Two. Three. And then he is walking fast to meet Jeonghan almost running to get to him.

And they hugged, and Seungcheol felt everything go warm.

Jeonghan’s tears are hot as they touched Seungcheol’s fingertips. Jeonghan absolutely looked adorable with his face red from the cold and from the crying, and with his teeth-showing grin that Seungcheol loves so much. Everything felt surreal. Everything felt unreal. Seungcheol has been so used on seeing this man just through his screen, his voice through his speakers – but now, Jeonghan’s here. He’s here with his arms wrapped devotedly around Seungcheol’s neck. He’s here smiling widely up at him, he’s here with his eyes shining dotingly towards him.

“I’m home, Seungcheol.”

He’s here, back to where he belongs – to Seungcheol’s arms.

And, finally, the ring that has been hiding in Seungcheol’s pockets will be given to where it should belong – around Jeonghan’s fingers.

Seungcheol breathes out. Tears fall and his voice breaks, but his lips split in a bright beam, “Welcome home.”

* * *

“So, you guys got married!”

“The motherfucker proposed to me on Christmas day. How the fuck am I supposed to say no?!”

“We all know you’re going to say yes even if hyung did not propose on Christmas, though?”

“Hell yeah!”

Minghao giggled. There is a mixed feeling of happiness being with Jeonghan after not seeing him for a long time, and also something about Jeonghan boasting and twittering about his wedding. Minghao grabs a drink. “Cheers for your successful lovelife, hyung,” he raises his glass and their clanking echoes. Jeonghan yells an excited ‘whoooo’ before downing his drink. It hits the table with a loud bang when he puts it down with so much energy Minghao can’t help but feel happy as well.

“Really, Choi Seungcheol is making me crazy.” Did Jeonghan have a lot already? Sure. Is he possibly drunk? Probably. Is he just blabbering nonsense? Nope. Is he in love? Abso-fucking-lutely.

And so everyone knew better than to disturb the couple when they went for their honeymoon. It seems like the most plausible thing to do; to let the two of them be happy and enjoy their time after being separated. Everyone can literally see the couple glowing upon being in each other’s arms, and extra shiny when they got back from their surely blissed trip.

“Hyung, hyung! Have you opened our gifts?!” That was Soonyoung.

“The man just came from a motherfucking honeymoon! Let him live!” That has to be Jihoon.

Truthfully, Jeonghan would like to reprimand Jihoon for his language, but what he said speaks volume when Jeonghan didn’t because he was deadass tired.

True to Jihoon’s words, Jeonghan just came back from his honeymoon trip with his husband. Don’t get him wrong. Every moment of it was pure bliss and ecstasy that he almost suggested to just stay there, which Seungcheol snorted at, of course. It seems so easy to just forget about the world but Jeonghan knew that they are adults and they can’t just lay around all the time, so when he got back to the real world, that’s when he got tired.

Besides, he and Seungcheol can always do whatever they did in the honeymoon trip in the sweet confines of their bedroom.

Doesn’t need to be in their bedroom only, even.

Anyway.

“I did, Soonyoungie! I still got a lot to open but yours have some eye-catching wrapper so I opened it first,” he replies. The trampoline that Soonyoung gave as a wedding gift will definitely go to their yard, but Jeonghan has an inkling that the kid bought it for the sole purposes of using it for his own.

Like what is happening to Jihoon’s gift; a cooler that is now filled with coca cola, much to Jihoon’s liking.

Jeonghan reached out an arm, hoping that Jihoon would get the message behind it. When he saw the younger male rolling his eyes like a kid, he grinned in victory. “This is why I don’t like dealing with newlyweds,” Jihoon grumbles. He pulls a can of cola out of the cooler and stuck his tongue out at Jeonghan lazily lying on the couch. However, despite the teasing, Jihoon threw himself beside the man when Jeonghan tapped the space beside him for the younger to sit on. Even with all of Jihoon’s sulkiness, he is still a baby in Jeonghan’s eyes. “Thank you, Jihoonie,” he giggles, cuddling the man lovingly.

Soonyoung whines, “Why am I not part of the cuddle party! I’m going to tell Chan that you liked Jihoon as your baby more than him, hyung!”

“Go ahead. He likes my husband more, anyway.”

“The audacity!” Soonyoung grumbles. The three of them laughed. “No. please don’t tell Channie,” Jeonghan said after.

* * *

“You guys are four minutes late!”

“Merry Christmas, Shua,” Jeonghan only laughs. He turns to his husband when he heard him laughing behind him, only to bump his nose on Seungcheol’s cheek. “Yeah. We’re sorry, Josh,” Seungcheol apologizes, but he’s grinning widely for someone who needs to look apologetic. His chin is tucked comfortably on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

“We need to go back to the apartment to check on Ppoppo and drive him to my mother’s place before going here.” Ppoppo is the senior cat they adopted. “Before that, we were out on a date where we talked about you being drunk. Sorry, man.”

“You look so sorry, sweetheart,” Jeonghan laughs before pressing a kiss on Seungcheol’s cheek.

Joshua rolled his eyes at them. “Whatever! At least you weren’t late for the countdown. Come on!” he ushers the couple towards the already smashed living room. “They’ve been waiting for you two for so long already,” he adds, twirling the wine in the glass in his hand. Seungcheol snorts with his arms still wrapped around Jeonghan’s waist, “We did not abandon you, our children.”

That was only dismissed by Joshua in a lazy wave.

The living room is quickly filled with hollers and whistles when they step foot and made their appearance to the kids. “Finally, the love birds!” Minghao shouts. Jeonghan’s parental instinct had immediately kicked in when he saw the young man playing on the window sill. “Get down!” And just like that, Jeonghan is out of Seungcheol’s embrace. “Stop worrying your father, children,” he said to the rest as he watches Jeonghan pull Minghao out of his space. Seungcheol could see from his peripheral view; Soonyoung trying to get off the stacked chairs silently like a snake not wanting to get caught.

The rest of the minutes are spend chatting and drinking with their friends. Looking around, Seungcheol realized that wow, they are all really grownups now. It feels just like yesterday when everyone spends their time getting wasted without worrying about being an adult the next day, or when they were all dealing with papers and requirements to get through college and graduate.

His eyes landed to his husband.

It’s been that long, huh?

“What are you thinking?”

Seungcheol blinked his eyes. He found Jeonghan’s ones staring up at him, comforting and encouraging. Seungcheol smiles as he leans down to press his lips against his husband, smiling after they parted. “Nothing much – just how we’ve all grown somehow from what we were before.”

Jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows, “You said it’s nothing much but that is actually something deep to think about.” A sigh escaped from his lips and Seungcheol watches his eyes turned sentimental. With a small smile formed in his lips, Jeonghan spoke in his softest tone, “But, you’re right. Everything feels like it hasn’t been that long, but at the same time, it does. Weird.”

One thing that Seungcheol wonders about their relationship is how they are so quick to be in their own world. The music blasting is now faint in his ears and the blinding lights inside the room is suddenly dimmed when his focus turns to Jeonghan.

“It feels just like yesterday when I knocked on your door, y’know?”

Jeonghan smiles softly, “I’m so glad you did.”

Joshua’s voice booms inside the room, announcing that they should all go to the yard now and start the countdown. The booze and tiredness of the night seemed to get to their bodies because only a nod and small movements of their feet were expressed. Of course, someone wouldn’t take that. “Get on your feet, asses! Move, move!” Soonyoung instructs everyone, even going as far as slapping them with rolls of toilet papers. Wonwoo had emerged in the yard looking like a mummy.

All of them gathered around while Mingyu and Seungcheol checked the sets up of the fireworks.

“Yah! You better get here before the clock strikes 12!” Jeonghan whined from where he is waiting for his husband. Their friends collectively laughed. “You’re so clingy, hyung!” Chan had said. Jeonghan only stuck his tongue out at everyone and shrugged his shoulders, “So, what?”

Seungcheol asks Mingyu for the last time if he understands what he needs to do to light up the fireworks and the younger male pats his back with a laugh. “I can do it, hyung! Go back to your husband now! Jeonghan-hyung looks like he’s about to cry.”

So, that’s what he did.

Jeonghan quickly demanded to be hugged when he arrived to his place.

“Am I annoying you?” the question is muffled. Jeonghan has his lower face pressed against Seungcheol’s shoulders, “Being clingy and all… doesn’t it annoy you?”

Thanks gods that even if Jeonghan’s voice is stifled, his face is close to Seungcheol’s ears so hearing him was fine. The question had reached the older male’s ear quite clearly and he snorts at the ridiculousness of it all. “Are you kidding me? I literally cling to you 24/7, Han. That should be my line now, don’t you think?” Jeonghan stays silent. It’s true that Seungcheol is fond of giving affection, but Jeonghan also has this great need to be pampered by Choi Seungcheol. His husband does not seem to realize that, though.

The countdown starts.

“10!”

He pulls his face away from Seungcheol’s shoulders as he stares at his eyes, “I’m spoiled.”

“Yes, you are, and as you should be.”

Jeonghan laughs a little, “And it doesn’t bother you?”

“Nope,” Seungcheol grins. He pulls Jeonghan closer again, foreheads touching and lips almost brushing. “I’m not bothered. You’re not a bother.”

“5!”

The familiarity of that line hits Jeonghan with sudden emotion that brought tears in his eyes.

“You told me that.” Jeonghan’s voice comes off breathless.

“Yeah, I did.” Seungcheol whispers back.

“1!”

“Happy New Year!” their friends cheer. From their peripheral vision, they could see the kids jumping around and hugging anyone that’s close to them. Their smiles are bright as the fireworks lighting up the sky. Their voices are loud as the firecrackers waking the night.

Seungcheol kisses Jeonghan. Sweet, romantic, intimate. “All of my life with you, Hannie.” Jeonghan grins back, all red and happy, “All my life with you, Cheollie.”

* * *

_+1_

“Do you want a cat or a dog?”

“I want you.”

“Yah!” Jeonghan whines. They have been going through this conversation for about an hour now and he hadn’t been getting useful insights. “If you’re not going to give me an answer, I swear I would get you a fucking lion.”

Seungcheol’s laugh bursts inside his boyfriend’s apartment. Jeonghan tries to push him off when he scoots closer to kiss him but Seungcheol only found it cuter. “How dare you try to kiss me?! Answer me! Cat or dog?!” The older male continues to cackle as he watches his boyfriend grits his teeth in annoyance. Yes, it is Jeonghan usually pulling pranks on him but contrary to popular belief, Seungcheol also had an unexplainable magic of getting him riled up pretty quickly. Most of the time, it was not even to annoy him intentionally. It just so happens that Seungcheol is so lovestruck that every little thing Jeonghan does, including him getting all pouty and whiny, had him cooing and wishing for a lifetime future with his partner. This cooing unfortunately comes with Seungcheol being unresponsive which annoys Jeonghan even more.

“Sorry, baby. I love you. I love you.” By some kind of a marvellous phenomenon, Seungcheol had found himself caging his boyfriend and pressing kisses all over his face. More ‘I love yous’ are planted on Jeonghan’s cheeks before the younger male got so fed up and he grabs Seungcheol’s face to kiss him fair and square on the lips.

Seungcheol misses this so much. Going here to spend three days’ worth of love with his boyfriend is more than what he could have asked for. They had done so much already; from talking about their relationship, about each other, about their plans, and then they are talking about their future. It is only Seungcheol’s second day, but he’s determined to make this short visit worthy.

“If I can’t talk with you properly, I’m going to put salt in your coffee tomorrow,” Jeonghan pulls away. Seungcheol’s reply is another peck on his lips.

“Alright!” Jeonghan grins. Seungcheol fondly watches him untangling himself from him, sitting at the far corner of the couch and sitting up straight with his handheld brochure. He is sure Jeonghan is trying to act like a company agent or something but it is hard to get all serious when his lips are wet and shiny from their earlier business. However, it is still an amusing sight of Jeonghan trying to act civil and formal like they haven’t been just making out a few minutes ago. Seungcheol wanted to kiss him again because of his adorableness, but that could wait later. He has a question to answer.

“You see, Mr. Choi,” Jeonghan starts, and Seungcheol couldn’t let himself be left from this, right? So he nods his head like how a client would in a meeting. “I know you love puppies – and don’t get me wrong! I love them, too! But there’s a senior cat here and,” Jeonghan trails off. His eyes are stuck on a page of the brochure where a cat is shown, fingers slowly caressing the photo the same time his act crumbles down. “And, I don’t know, Cheol. I just want to make his left living years happier, I guess.”

“I love you.”

“Cheol-ah!”

“No, really, babe. I love you,” Seungcheol pacifies. Their earlier scenarios might be playful and mischievous but right now, Seungcheol wants Jeonghan to know that he loves him so much. Just watching him caring for this cat and wanting to make the best for the rest of its living years, gods help Seungcheol because he just wants to marry Jeonghan right there and then. Jeonghan’s kindness flows throughout his voice, melodious with softness and warmth, and Seungcheol listened to them as they guide him to a future he wants – a future with this voice of love and compassion. “I really, really love you, Han. You, caring so much and being all gentle like this – you’re amazing and I love you.”

Seungcheol thinks Jeonghan had finally understood the weight of his words now, considering how the latter’s face suddenly turned a bit shy but appreciative at the same time. “I love you, baby,” Seungcheol repeats as he wallows on the happy glow of Jeonghan’s existence. It still amazes him how these words still make them feel fuzzy and soft, given the many times they’ve been saying it to each other.

**Author's Note:**

> yooooo do yall know that this has been in my drafts for months now so yeah, i've been doing this even before the holidays!!!! initially it isnt a holidays fic but it turns out like that even before the season comes! and now we posting this when the holiday season is over!!! Wild ! (i have two more updates in my drafts yall im really in a slump these days and a lot has been going on in my personal life that i just go blank)
> 
> i shall edit this again when i go back
> 
> do you have any jc aus there??? i think i need some right now haha a lot really has been goin on. if you have (even if its in twt or socmed or in other sites) please link some!!! dont worry about thinking if i already read them hehe im still so grateful for that!!!!
> 
> posting this now while i have time!!! hopefully everything goes well soon
> 
> please be happy, all of you!!!!!!


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